Pale
by YulieAna
Summary: She wouldn't conform to his views. She wouldn't recognize his authority. Despite her weaknesses, she still has the will to defy him, change him and pull him into the unknown. UlquiHime.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

She walks around the room with slow unsure steps, her feet softly resounding against the concrete floor. Eyes glazing over her surroundings, she turns her head around purposely avoiding the unyielding stare of her captor. Everything is pale – the walls, the dim light of the crescent moon seeping through the window, her clothes, matching the dull shade of the dusky chamber, but the bleakest color of them all is the face of her warden gazing at her figure as it finally stops on the opposite side right across from him.

"You are not to leave this room unless you are being summoned by Aizen-sama. On such an occasion I will escort you to him, otherwise, you are to remain here. Is that understood?" the voice, steady and emotionless, bounces off the walls echoing across the space.

The girl nods reluctantly, without looking at the speaker, and nervously clasps her fingers together. But it is enough to suit your inquiry. Satisfied with the answer, you do not stay a moment longer and head towards the exit. And as soon as the door closes, faint sobs from the other side reach your ears. You frown. Humanity. It still lingers within her, still connects her to the world that you stole her from. But it matters not. The mission has been accomplished. The girl has been delivered to your master to serve his purpose and to live for his will alone. And in the end she will know her place and yield to his power. But there is no need to rush right now, as you know that her fate is already inevitable. Aizen's will is absolute, and you, as his most trusted servant, have been entrusted with breaking the last bit of hope, that she still might hold, of being rescued.

* * *

Since her arrival, your life becomes a routine. You come to Orihime's room briefly twice a day to check if she eats properly and not engaged in any dangerous activity. Although, what could she possibly be doing that would endanger her? Nothing, the room is monitored. And you know that attempting anything is pointless as any suspicious action would be quickly halted. Yet, you still come to observe without skipping a single meeting, standing in the corner and watching while she stares up at the crescent moon.

"Eat." you order as soon as the cart with food is brought in.

Sometimes she hesitates, sometimes she complies right away. The little irregularities in her behavior often make you wonder what goes on inside her head. But none of it is done because you care, the very thought repulses you. She is nothing but a toy in your master's bigger plan, not worth being given a second thought. However, as weak and pathetic as she may be, the girl still belongs to Aizen and her life is essential to his ambitions. This is the only reason why you are doing this, no other explanation is acceptable.

You stand motionless watching her eat. Orihime slowly raises the spoon to her mouth and brings it back down in mechanical repetitive motions, but then abruptly stops, staring down at her plate.

"It's been several days…" she suddenly speaks, "and nobody called for me. Why did you bring me here if I'm just sitting and doing nothing?"

This is the first time she attempts a conversation, and her boldness somehow surprises you, yet your cold demeanor reveals nothing.

"Aizen-sama will summon you whenever he so desires and you are not to question his motives. As of right now, your duty is to maintain your health and be ready as soon as he requires your presence."

She sighs audibly with visible frustration then tentatively raises her head to meet your eyes.

"Can I at least…" she hesitates, "…every day is the same. There's nothing to do. Can I at least be given _something _to occupy myself with?"

You turn around dismissively and walk towards the door. Catering to her whims is none of your concern, and neither are you interested in keeping her entertained.

"Aside from ensuring your health, it is not my responsibility to amuse you. Do as you are told and it ends there."

After this, she never speaks to you again.

* * *

Days go by and she remains silent, wordlessly following your orders – eating, sleeping, and, in between, staring at the window. Other than that Inoue Orihime does nothing else. Her docility and complete lack of interest is starting to irk you. What does she see up there? It is the same scene every single day – the night sky and the crescent moon glowing through the bars. It is constant, unchanging, just like her fate. She can't still be hoping for a different outcome, can she? It is impossible.

"What you are doing is pointless." you tell her one day, "Your life has already been decided, nothing will ever change it."

She hesitates only for a moment then slowly turns her head into your direction. You see traces of bewilderment dancing on her face, but she does not respond right away.

"It is useless to still harbor any hope of being rescued. " you continue, "Whether your friends attempt it or not, you already belong to Aizen-sama in body and soul."

A weighty pause passes before she speaks.

"Nobody can own a person's soul." Orihime mutters turning her head away.

Her voice is barely a whisper but you heard it loud and clear. And now it is your turn to stare. Even in her most depressed state, the woman still has the will to defy you and maintain her own beliefs. You had never seen such strength before.

"Nonsense, whoever holds the supreme power dominates and wills his subordinates to do his bidding." you retort, "In this case, Aizen is your master."

She considers your words for a moment but does not falter. "But he still can't control free will." she answers back. "Even if he is stronger than most, he can't make anyone agree with him unless they themselves want to."

To this, you have no answer as you have never analyzed or doubted Aizen's orders. You always did what you were told completely indifferent to the circumstances. His will was perfect and unquestionable, that is what you were taught, so there was no reason to question anything.

"Such obstinacy, it changes nothing." you persist, seemingly unmoved by her assertion. "Going against the inevitable is utterly futile. Sooner or later everything will come to a full resolution, so it is better to accept your future right now instead of keeping up this inane struggle."

Orihime draws out a long and painful sigh but says nothing. Yet, you have no inclination to let her insubordination pass. Your loyalty will not be scrutinized by a mere human, inferior to you.

Taking a step forward you get her attention again. She moves her head and looks at you once more.

"You _will_ recognize the purpose of your existence." your voice echoes with finality, "To whom do you belong to?"

She hesitates a little and you know that she is struggling with herself. Fully prepared for another act of disobedience, you already have a retort, but what she says next shocks you again.

"To Aizen-sama and his wishes." she answers quietly, not a hint of defiance in her voice.

You hold her gaze in silence until she finally looks away.

What a smart and unexpected move, and you can see right through it. Despite the firmness in her voice, you are aware that this is just a guise to cover her real intentions. Orihime simply decided to take an easy way out and avoid a confrontation, understanding that you have no desire to yield to her views. She gave in to you on purpose, agreeing, pretending to recognize your authority, but in reality she recognized nothing, swearing loyalty without any real sincerity behind it. You _know_ that you should press this matter further, you _know_ that you should make her realize this error, but every desire to subdue her to your, no, _Aizen's_ will, suddenly evaporates and is replaced with fascination. Fascination that such a frail human girl has enough power to stand up for herself in front of you. You, who can easily destroy her with just a flare of your reiatsu. Such mental finesse is not even common among the Arrancar.

You watch her returning her attention to the window, as always, looking at some invisible entity and you know that it is your cue to leave. Yet, you still linger studying her profile, her features, the way the moonlight touches her hair. And for the first time since she put on that uniform, you realize that you like it far better on her than anything she had ever worn before.

* * *

_Now that our guest has accustomed herself to her new home, bring her in. I desire to speak with her._

Aizen's most recent order hangs in the back of your head as you walk down the long corridor towards her room. You already suspected that it wouldn't be long until he summoned her. Perhaps he would reveal more details about the woman's stay here, perhaps he would assign her with a responsibility, perhaps….you suddenly halt as your perceptive ears pick up a strange noise coming from her room. Slightly increasing your step, you finally stop in front of her door. A loud screeching sound, resembling stones grinding against each other, reaches your ears.

Not wasting another moment, you enter, ready to reprimand her for whatever impudence she is committing, but instead your eyes widen and you observe the scene in front of you.

Orihime is crouched in the corner scribbling something on the wall. She is so engrossed by her activity that she doesn't even notice your presence. You take several steps forward ignoring whatever she is writing and study the object in her hand. It's a small piece of rock that looks like chalk. How did she ever manage to find it?

"What is the meaning of this?" you ask, now standing behind her.

She startles and swiftly turns around in alarm.

"I…"

"Where did you find it?" you persist, looking at the stone in her hand.

"It was lying on the floor…" Orihime speaks rapidly, "And I was bored. I can't just be sitting around all day doing nothing! I'd go crazy!"

Her face is searching yours, a pleading look in her eyes, and you do not pursue the matter any further. Besides, there is no time for an investigation, Aizen is waiting. So, you decide to postpone it until after the meeting.

"You are being summoned." you announce tonelessly, "Come with me." then turn around and walk towards the door.

Wearily, Orihime gets up, leaving the rock on the floor, and follows after you.

* * *

"My dear Orihime," Aizen's soothing voice echoes through the chamber as she enters it. "I am so happy you decided to join me."

The door shuts behind her while you stay outside listening to the muffled sounds coming from the room. Closing your eyes, you lean against the wall waiting. Yet, a moment later the door flies open again as two angry Arrancar storm past you, Loly and Menoly, without even bothering to shut it behind them. Spouting angry insults about your ward, they disappear around the corner, and then your attention is returned to what's in front of you. Through the small crack the conversation becomes perfectly audible and you can even see her back. Yet, you do not make a move to close the entrance and give them privacy, but instead, concentrate all of your senses on listening.

"Now that you are part of our family," Aizen continues, "I would like to share something with you." He opens a tall compartment revealing a shiny jewel hidden inside. Hougyoku. "The creation of the Arrancar and my ascension are impossible without it." he states, "And the very fact that I am showing this to you signifies our trust."

Orihime walks around it, as you watch her intently, and now she is facing you. Her expression is grave and thoughtful while she observes the object listening to Aizen's words. Your eye brows come together in a frown. This does not make any sense. If the woman's apparent lack of loyalty was obvious to you, Aizen absolutely could not have missed it. Then why is he showing such an important treasure to the person with the potential to destroy it?

"You have a unique ability, Orihime." Aizen speaks again, "The power you possess, event rejection, is an extremely valuable asset and I'm counting on you to assist me in this endeavor."

He pauses, giving her a meaningful stare, and you notice Orihime swallow in discomfort.

"You will use it for me if necessary, won't you?"

The woman never responds and only looks down at Hougyoku while Aizen watches her, seemingly satisfied with what has just transpired between them. His actions puzzle you, yet you do not dare to question his authority as you're sure that he is perfectly in control of the situation.

"Ulquiorra!" he suddenly turns his head into your direction.

You enter the room without delay, "Yes, Aizen-sama."

"Inoue Orihime is entrusted into your care, I take it?" he smiles.

"That is correct."

Aizen's smile widens.

"Perfect. Please make sure our guest receives everything she requires. We want to make her stay here as pleasant as possible."

Your composure does not weaver although you fail to see the purpose behind overly indulging someone as disposable as her. As long as she is kept alive, why make an effort to cater to her impulses?

"As you wish, Aizen-sama." you bow mechanically, not betraying your confusion.

"Very well then." Aizen responds, eyeing you smugly, "Now escort Orihime back to her room. This meeting is adjourned."

* * *

Soon, you and Orihime are back in her chamber, silence looming between you both. Her expression is more thoughtful than before and you suspect that she is analyzing what had happened during the meeting with Aizen. If there is a chance that she might be planning something against him, she might as well give up now. You do not wish to harm her, naturally, she is still Aizen's property and hurting her would hinder his plans, so…..your thoughts are interrupted by her curious stare.

"What is it?" you ask impassively.

"Aizen said you'll give me whatever I want." she says innocently.

Insolent woman.

"Indeed," you grind through your teeth. Is she trying to anger you on purpose? "What is it that you need?"

"If you don't want me to destroy another wall, I'd like some paper and pencils."

You marvel at her audacity. Does she not know whom she is talking to? Is she not afraid of the power you hold over her? Yet, you cannot deny her. Orders are orders.

"But nothing fancy!" she clarifies, "I don't really need any colored pencils. Just bring me the lead ones."

Silence.

"Please…?" Orihime adds shyly.

Orders, you are just following orders, there is no other reason for you to do this for her. She is still a prisoner regardless of what Aizen calls her, a prisoner who should know her place. And you are her guard who should be the one to give _her_ orders, not to receive them _from_ her. But strangely enough, you do not care to remind her of that, and instead feel your curiosity rising to see what she would do next.

"Is there a reason for such a request?" you ask.

"Of course! I want to draw."

How simple and concise.

Wordlessly, you turn to the wall, your gaze roaming around her scribblings. There are names, incomprehensible pictures, jottings that resemble drawings of a child. Is this what she is planning to put on paper? How foolish. Humans are illogical beings that are impossible to understand. If there is no skill, then why bother unless she wants to be ridiculed for her lack of talent. Yet, you know that you are going to satisfy her request regardless of your personal qualms with it. This is only mild interest to understand her mindset, you tell yourself, and you are also following orders, nothing else. _Nothing else_.

"Explain this." you tell her, still looking at the wall, "Are you planning to transcribe all of this on paper? What is the purpose of rewriting these names?"

She comes to stand besides you looking at the drawings. "Those are not just names," she answers quietly, "Those are my friends, people I care about. Writing their names, drawing them, brings us closer together." she sighs, "Even if we are apart."

It makes no sense to you. How can a simple drawing bring anyone together? It is just an image, lifeless and motionless. It does not communicate, it reveals nothing. Yet, the earnestly in her voice convinces you that she is serious. The woman is strange, you assert, driven by the most mundane notions and so easy to please. And you cannot comprehend such attitude. It lacks practicality and common sense. It is self-indulgent and wasteful. Yet, despite the uncertainty that plagues you, you do not object and decide to let it be until further observation.

"Alright." is your final reply, "Tomorrow you will be supplied with what you ask."

She turns her head to look at you. You look back, your eyes locking together.

"Thank you." she whispers, and then you notice a strange flicker in her eyes as your gazes are still transfixed on one another.

An unfamiliar sensation sparks within your hollow hole, strange gravity pulling you in – an unexplainable, unfathomable entity that stirs something inside you cannot recognize. But your features disclose nothing. They remain ever so impassive and unmoving, as always, acting on the sense of self-preservation to protect yourself. This is how you always fought. This is how you always won. And you'll win this battle as well, you _have_ to, as you try to convince yourself, finally tearing your eyes away from hers and leaving the room without looking back.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

After you fulfill your promise and order a servant to deliver paper and pencils to her room, Orihime's attitude gradually starts to change. She is still somewhat weary of you, but her indifference and moodiness slowly transform into reserved friendliness and even sociability. As she draws her pictures, she initiates conversations, sometimes even smiles at your curt answers, and the more time you spend in her company, watching her sketch and talking to her, you realize, that despite yourself, you rather enjoy being here. In the very least, it is certainly more refreshing than witnessing the violence and hostility among the Arrancar on a daily basis. And now, as you enter the familiar room to check up on her as usual, you see her curled up on the couch, feet snugly placed underneath her, completely immersed in drawing.

She only spares you a quick glace before returning to her activity, always leaving you wondering just how much better that nonsense that she left on the wall would look on paper, as you have yet to see any of her sketches. But, the passion that she puts into her art somehow amuses you, since her enthusiasm certainly does not match her skill.

"What do you think?" Orihime speaks, showing you one of her drawings.

How unexpected, she finally decides to reveal something to you. You study a triangular shaped object with two rounded corners unsure of what to make of it.

"What is this?" you ask.

She raises a brow but does not comment on your ignorance. "It's a heart." Orihime says simply.

"Impossible. This looks nothing like the muscle I have seen before."

"It's not _that_ type of a heart." She pauses, thinking of the right words to describe it. "It's more like…what we feel, how we think, what makes us human. It's like an extension of the soul."

"You do realize that I am not human." You point out, "The notion is alien to me. And even if I could vaguely comprehend it, I could never treat it with such simplicity as you do. You speak of it like you can see it. Yet, where is it?"

Orihime scrutinizes you for a moment. "Just because you aren't human, it doesn't mean you can't feel."

But you beg to differ. It is not a matter of "_can't_ feel" but _won't_, as you strive on the principle of logic and efficiency, not sentiment. And what Inoue Orihime's just revealed to you is incomprehensible and long forgotten. Even if there were feelings somewhere in your history, through years of experience you've learned how to suppress them to the point of complete emotional numbness.

"And there are some things that you can't see but know that are there." She adds.

"If I can't see them, how do I know they exist?"

She doesn't answer.

"You don't know?" you press on.

"I _do_ know." She insists. "But how can I explain it if you wouldn't even admit to being able to feel?"

"The very assertion is ridiculous." You argue, "I don't need to experience emotions to comprehend the meaning of the heart."

She studies you with the same mysterious spark in her eyes that you've already seen before, as if having a private knowledge to something that you don't. And for some unexplained reason you want to understand it, to share the insight into this inexplicable element that she puts so much stock into. With every passing day that you spend with her, the gravity in your chest becomes heavier, pushing and pulling and making you wonder about things that you have never considered before. Is the heart really as important as she says? It seems foolish and inconsequential. It lacks every shred of logic that you have ever abided by, yet why…

Spending so much time with the woman made you think about the most ludicrous things. You break the eye contact and look at the table opposite from where she is sitting. There are some papers spread on it piquing your interest. And a second later you stand over them about to reach down and take one.

"No!" the woman is suddenly in front of you, stacking them up and holding them to her chest so you wouldn't see what's drawn there. "I don't want to show them to you yet."

Her sudden reaction draws suspicion. "I have no inclination to issues a request. You will show them to me regardless of what you want."

Orihime rises up her chin in defiance. "These are _my_ drawings and I get to decide when to show them to you."

Rebellious as always. But you already let her get away with enough to have her so blatantly disobey you about something as trivial as this. If the woman wants to test your patience, she will be thoroughly disappointed because you have no desire to indulge her. Despite your rather casual relationship and your admiration for her courage, you still have no intention of being dismissed and treated as her playmate.

"You seem to forget where you are, woman." You remind her sternly, "Regardless of how lenient Aizen-sama is towards you, you are _not_ just a guest." a meaningful pause to see her reaction. "You will do as you are told. My orders are not under your personal evaluation."

She responds just as you've anticipated, widening her eyes in bewilderment then moving her gaze downwards.

"I know." She says quietly, "I've always known that, but it was still nice to pretend there's something that belonged only to me, even if it's something as silly as this."

"Nothing here truly belongs to you. The only one who owns anything is your master. Do not forget it."

She sighs audibly. "Yes. But I was still kind of hoping that you weren't just following orders. That we might've become….friends."

_Friends._ The gravity is pulling you in again, but you are adamant to resist it. There is no room for you and her to be friends. You know her fate and you know yours. And it is impossible to be anything more as you are aware that this is bound to end badly for at least one of you.

"I am doing my duty. There is nothing else." You lie.

And you _do_ realize that you _are_ lying. There is no point in denying that your interest in her goes beyond the orders from above. Her courage, her strength, her ridiculous faith in her friends and the heart drew you in and you let it happen. And there is no one else to blame but yourself, yet you have no intention of exposing this revelation and creating more complications in front of Aizen. This is a problem you will deal with alone.

"Do you really mean it?"

"Yes." You've gotten very good at lying lately.

Orihime nods and continues staring at the floor but you notice her lips trembling. Silently you turn around, but before there is a chance to take another step, you feel her hand on your elbow.

"This is not fair." she says through muffled sobs.

You turn your head to look at her. "You were naïve to think you could make friends here."

"I know that, but still..." She pauses for a moment looking at you intently. "Why did you really bring me here?" she asks suddenly.

"To serve Aizen-sama. You know this already."

She shakes her head violently. "No! I don't believe it. I've been here for days, maybe even weeks, and I've done _nothing_! Everyday is the same. I just sit here and draw and then you come to check on me. Why am I _really_ here?"

"Control yourself." Now you are facing her, "He will use you whenever he decides to do so. Do not question him any further."

"But I want to!" she is yelling at you now, "I sacrificed my freedom. I came here because I thought I was saving my friends. And all of this was for nothing?"

She stares at you with tears streaming down her cheeks, breathing heavily, waiting for your answer. But you don't know what to say as Aizen's real intention are unknown to you. You followed his orders and brought her here, everything else is left completely at his mercy. And he hasn't given you a single hint of his future plans, especially in regards to Inoue Orihime.

"You've been told of everything you need to know." You say evenly, turning around and walking towards the exit. "If there is any change, you will be informed of it. Otherwise, there is no reason of going back to this topic ever again."

A few seconds tick until she speaks again.

"Ulquiorra..."

You stop by the door and tilt your head sideways.

"What if…" a reluctant pause, "What if my friends come for me… You are going to fight them, aren't you?"

"You already know the answer to that quest." Your voice is unnaturally calm, "There is no reason to repeat it."

A moment later you are in the hallway hearing the door closing behind you.

* * *

Your days continue as usual and you keep watch over Orihime, but one fact is obvious now. Aizen didn't give you any assignments since you brought her to Hueco Mundo. In fact, you lead each day doing nothing, save for your responsibility towards the woman. Other than that, you are free to do as you please and he doesn't even ask for a report. Strange. He usually keeps you busy, but after her arrival it seems like it was his intention to have you spend as much time as possible in her company.

But, today he finally summoned you. And now you stand in his throne room ready to receive orders.

"How is our little captive?" Aizen asks. "Have you been nice to her?

"Inoue Orihime exhibits no signs of distress. She spends a large amount of her time drawing." You report curtly.

Aizen eyes you with his usual expression of self-importance. "Excellent. And since everything is in order, I have a task for you today, Ulquiorra."

You don't question him. You don't ask for any details. You just stand and watch and listen. But your mind is busy thinking and analyzing what would happen to her while you're gone.

"And while you're gone," he adds as if reading your thoughts, "One of the Espada will look after Orihime."

You _never_ question him openly and you don't so now. But you know that she will be in danger. You need to finish this quickly and efficiently and come back before anything happens to her.

"Yes, Aizen-sama." You respond tonelessly and turn around to leave.

But before you go on this mission, you need to inform her of the change and give the proper instructions on how to behave so she would not attract unwanted attention. In the midst of all this, her well-being is suddenly a personal concern of yours. How foolish.

"And Ulquiorra," he calls after you, "You leave immediately."

Somehow he is aware of your plans. You can feel that he is and it disturbs you that he intentionally wants to keep you away from Orihime, while knowing how important she is. Yet you remain silent, nod curtly and exit the throne room. But as soon as you step outside, you come face-to-face with Nnoitra.

"Well, well, well…" he sneers are you, "Looks like your little pet will be without her caretaker for while. But don't you worry; we'll take _real_ good care of her."

"Nnoitra…"

"I'm kind of envious though. That's a really nice job you got there. Just how far have you _disciplined_ her?"

Filthy scum. You have no time for this. Ignoring the insinuations, you walk past him, but Nnoitra suddenly gets in front of you slamming his fist against the wall.

"Don't be so stingy." He snickers down at you, "I just want to know what's going on so we can continue with whatever the hell you were doing with her."

You look him straight in the eye as he towers over you. Useless fool. His strength is no match to yours and he knows it. But his lack of intelligence might pose a problem and you have neither the time nor the desire to indulge his blood-thirst.

"Inoue Orihime is essential to Aizen's plans." You respond, "She is not to be harmed."

"Bullshit. A weakling like her can't be that impor—"

"Nnoitra," you interrupt, "Aizen gave specific orders to keep her intact. And I expect to find her in the same condition as I left her."

"Or _what_?"

"Or you will be eliminated."

Nnoitra gives a shout of laughter. "You seriously think Aizen would care more about some human than an Espada?"

"There are plenty of Arrancar to replace you, but according to Aizen Inoue Orihime is irreplaceable. Make no mistake, she is important to him and you will not lay a finger on her. You have been warned."

"Damn. That sounds like a threat."

"No. It is a fact. If you harm her in any way, I _will_ kill you."

Nnoitra glares at you but you don't give him a chance to respond, walking around and past him. You've made your point and he's made his. And if he still dares to go against you, he will pay the consequences.

* * *

The assignment is not what you have anticipated. You are in the mortal realm now, observing Kurosaki Ichigo and his plans in regards to Inoue Orihime. What a pointless mission. It shouldn't matter what the boy wants to do. Regardless of his power, he still doesn't stand a chance against the Espada and you are certain that you can defeat him. And surely, Aizen does not perceive him as a threat either. The boy is nothing and you can easily destroy him along with the rest of his friends. But it is neither the time nor the place, you realize, carefully masking your reiatsu as you approach him.

You watch him talk to his team mates, to the rest of the Shinigami while one of the captains informs him of the Menos and the power of the Vasto Lords. The corner of your mouth curves as you see the surprise and horror on his face. It is good that he fears your power, perhaps now he would think twice before venturing into Hueco Mundo and try to rescue Inoue Orihime. That would be foolish of him. Kurosaki is just a boy who lacks experience and maturity. No matter how much he trains and how much more powerful he would get, he will still be crushed if he decides to cross you. You will make sure of it.

There is nothing to see here, you decide, and frankly, because of the insignificance of this mission, you are starting to second guess Aizen. He showed Hougyoku to Orihime, yet he knows she has the power to reject it from existence. He made you thoughtlessly indulge her whims, although you suspect he would use her for something and dispose of her later. Why? Why did he put you through so much trouble of catering to her, watching her, making sure that she is comfortable? And now, he sent you on a mission that lacks every bit of common sense that you're used to. And for what? To see what Kurosaki plans to do? You are sure Aizen is prepared if the Shinigami decides to go to Hueco Mundo, and he certainly does not fear the boy. Then, why did he send one of his Vasto Lords on such a meaningless errand?

You are done with this nonsense, moving to a safe distance and opening a Garganta. But as soon as you step into Las Noches, Aizen's voice startles you.

"Ah, Ulquiorra, it is nice to have you back. I trust you brought good news?"

This is the first time he ever waits for you to return from a mission. Usually, you are the one to seek him out to give a report. What changed now? This unsettles you.

"Kurosaki Ichigo learned about the power levels of the Menos and the Vasto Lords." You answer carefully, "Other than that, he is not a threat to us of any kind."

"Is that so?"

"Yes. The boy is frightened and disorganized. Even if he still decides to come here, he will be defeated."

"Good, just as I thought. You've done well, Ulquiorra."

"Thank you, Aizen-sama."

"And now that you are back, you can return to your duties and look after our captive."

Wordlessly you bow and walk past him.

"Oh, Ulquiorra!" he suddenly calls after you. "I almost forgot to ask you."

You turn your head and look at him expectantly.

Aizen smiles, the same arrogant smile that you are much too familiar with.

"How does your chest feel?" he asks you silkily.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

_Two days earlier…_

The room is quiet and empty as you enter it. A small noise from the bathroom draws your attention but you walk into the opposite direction pacing around the center. You can always come back later when she is not taking a bath, but you are rather impatient right now. For a prison guard, you are _unusually_ impatient to seek audience with your captive. And what for? Because you foolishly believe that her sudden change in the mood had to do with your last conversation. You've changed. This isn't like you to be so edgy.

You push your troubled thoughts away, stopping your gaze on the papers scattered on the table, the same drawings that she refused to show you before. Three long strides and you are reaching down to look. What has she been hiding? And then you suddenly stop. These look nothing like what you've seen on the wall. Before, they were just childish scribbles to which you didn't even spare a second glance. But this is the work of an artist. The drawings are filled with realistic facial expressions, details, and incredible likeness. You cannot deny that this impresses you. Such talent. Inoue Orihime surprised you yet again.

You examine the pictures noticing that one image stands apart from the rest. Kurosaki Ichigo.

Kurosaki Ichigo smiling.

Kurosaki Ichigo frowning.

Kurosaki Ichigo wearing his Shinigami robes and swinging his sword.

Kurosaki Ichigo walking, talking, and looking straight at you.

You grind your teeth together in disgust. Did she really think you wanted to see this? Of all the people, of all the friends she had, she had to choose _him_. You remember her childish confession, the tears, and feel like ripping the drawings apart. After all the time spent here, she can't possibly be harboring any affection for someone who is the least likely to return it. So much time passed and he still hasn't made a move to rescue her. Are all humans as naive as this woman?

But at least Inoue Orihime did not spend all of her time drawing the Shinigami. There are others – Kuchiki Rukia, Ishida Uryuu, Sado Yasutora and a few more, that you don't recognize, wearing school uniforms. All of these people are supposed to be connected to her through these feeble pieces of paper, a ridiculous concept that you still fail to understand. You scan through more pages and your gaze stops on the last drawing, instantly forgetting the rest of them. The paper freezes in mid-air as you stare at it. You can't believe it. Why did she do this?

The door opens and her soft steps catch your attention.

"I…didn't expect you yet." Orihime says with a hint of surprise, coming towards you. "You're a little early."

You turn around to face her, the paper still in your hand, tilting it so she could see that you've discovered her secret.

"Oh…" she says nervously, "So you found it. I really wish you…."

"Why did you draw this?" you interrupt her.

She stalls, switching her eyes from you to the picture, then back to you. You sense hesitation, fear, anxiety. But she doesn't fear you, that you're sure of, otherwise she wouldn't have placed that drawing together with the ones of her friends.

"All of these people are somehow important to me." She answers, "Some are my friends, others are…"

"How is _this_ important?" you ask, moving the picture closer to her face.

She looks at it before meeting your eyes. "It's just…. You were kinder to me than most. And I'm a little grateful for that."

You don't want her gratitude. You want…

"You overestimate my intentions." You know that you're lying, "I was following Aizen's orders to keep you unharmed. Nothing more."

"Maybe you're right. But deep down in my heart…"

You don't want to hear it. You know what this heart caused her, you've seen the drawings, you remember what she did before she came here. You don't want to hear it.

"For how long are you planning to rely on it?" you interject, "It is but an illusion that brings you nothing but pain. It does not exist."

"Yes it does!" She protests, "And ..and…" a reluctant pause, "I will prove it to you!"

Silence.

"How?"

"I…" Orihime bites her lip nervously, "I don't know yet."

"You don't know, but you are certain of what you speak. I don't understand you, woman."

"You don't need to understand anything. You just need to feel it."

You feel something heavy in your chest.

* * *

_Present…_

"How does your chest feel?"

You stare at Aizen as if not understanding the question.

_What?_

"Don't think too hard," he chuckles, "It really is a simple question."

"My physical condition is fully functional." you respond impassively. "I suffered no injuries from the last mission."

Aizen shakes his head in amusement. "That is not what I asked, Ulquiorra."

His strange curiosity about your health is disquieting. This is the first time since you came into his service that Aizen showed any interest in your well being. You always thought you were disposable, why is he asking questions now?

"What do you think about Orihime?" this inquiry surprises you even more. He usually never cares for the opinions of others.

"The woman has impressive powers." you answer calmly. "They will be beneficial to our cause."

Aizen eyes you skeptically.

"Do you think she is attractive?"

Silence.

"For your intellect this is not a complicated question."

"The woman's physical appearance is adequate."

Aizen does not respond right away but you can sense that something else is coming.

"What if, hypothetically speaking, something small and insignificant started to occur," He finally speaks, "Something that was ignored at first, something that went almost unnoticed? But then, what if it started growing and taking change?" Aizen pauses for a moment surveying your reaction, but the blank expression on your face remains perfectly intact, "What if it is something that cannot be explained? Something that confuses and makes one angry?" He looks at you, "Hypothetically speaking."

Silence.

"What if he starts to get irritated when he believes that someone starts to think of someone else? What if he wants to make them forget, to have them conform to his will?"

Silence.

He stops in front of you looking you straight in the eye. "What if, in the midst of it all, he starts feeling something right here?" He points towards your hollow hole. "Hypothetically speaking, of course."

Silence.

"Do you think there is such a possibility?"

You have no answer.

"Hey hey! That's not fair to bully Ulquiorra like that." Gin's voice comes out of nowhere.

You turn your head into its direction.

"Gin! You are right on time. We are discussing a rather complicated topic."

Gin laughs. "Always so sneaky, Aizen-sama. What are ya talking about?"

"A _very_ delicate subject." Aizen looks at you with intent. "A matter of the heart."

Orihime's words keep recycling in your head over and over. _What we feel, how we think, what makes us human._ You remember the images of Kurosaki Ichigo and the memory of that absurd anger that made you almost forget that she drew you too. For some obscene reason she placed your picture together with his. For some reason she spent time on putting your likeness on paper, the same paper that is supposed to connect her to her friends. What does it all mean? Every time you think you can finally grasp it, the heart eludes you yet again. And now everything you knew about yourself, everything you ever believed in stops making sense.

_What makes us human. _

"A little sentimental, aren't ya?" Gin's voice breaks through your thoughts.

"More like _experimental_." Aizen answers, "Tell me, Ulquiorra, if Kurosaki Ichigo decides to arrive, what would you do?"

"I will do whatever is necessary to complete the objective." You answer robotically.

Aizen's vagueness starts to irritate you. "You are very loyal, Ulquiorra." He says with a strange tone in his voice. "Please forgive me for this rather…unscheduled meeting. You can return to your duties now."

You bow and start walking away feeling two sets of eyes burning into your back. And as soon as you round the corner Gin turns to Aizen.

"Aren't ya the least bit worried?"

"Not at all. He will do what he is supposed to."

"You're too sure of yourself."

"I am simply stating the fact," Aizen responds, "Ulquiorra's purpose has been fulfilled."

"So, you're going to order him to fight Kurosaki Ichigo then?"

"That is not necessary. He will initiate the battle himself based on his own instincts."

"You are very sly, Aizen-sama. But how can you be sure he'd do just that?"

"Unlike most of the Espada, Ulquiorra does not operate on the primal feeling of blood-lust. His mind is much more complicated than that. Thus, he was the most likely to form an emotional attachment."

"A stone like him? That's funny."

"A _stone_ that needed a _push_ into the right direction. And now with an extra incentive that involves a strong personal vendetta, his victory is guaranteed." Aizen pauses for a moment as the corner of his mouth curves, "Observing his conversation with Nnoitra was rather entertaining, don't you think?"

"Hoo boy, he was so scary! I almost thought that he would kill him for real."

"Indeed, but once Kurosaki Ichigo arrives, Ulquiorra will be even more adamant to fight him, thus forcing the Shinigami's power to its full potential."

"How cruel." Gin draws out with mock concern, "You set him up, didn't you?"

Aizen's smile never reaches his eyes.

* * *

"One of the underground tunnels recently collapsed."

"Yes, the one that is ways away from here."

"It would've been much more exciting if they entered through the throne room."

"Too noisy! Keep it down, I'm still sleepy."

You silently sit down without engaging in their mundane chatter, listening and waiting. Shortly after your return from the other realm, Aizen called the first meeting since Inoue Orihime was brought to Hueco Mundo. You have your suspicions that something might've happened, perhaps Kurosaki Ichigo finally made an entrance. But you put your speculations aside until anything it is confirmed.

The door opens and Aizen silently enters with Gin and Kaname right behind him. His face reveals nothing about your latest encounter.

"My dear Espada," he surveys everyone around him, "Our enemies have finally made an entrance. Kaname, please transmit the images."

A round opening appears in the middle of the table projecting a beam of light, and next you see three figures running through Hueco Mundo.

"Ishida Uryuu, Sado Yasutora, and Kurosaki Ichigo are the intruders."

_They are just kids. They don't look impressive. _You ignore the smug comments of your comrades and look at the third figure. Kurosaki Ichigo. And without a doubt you know that both of you will inevitably clash swords as you feel your fingers run across the hilt of your zanpakuto.

"Do not underestimate them." Aizen warns, "These four are the former ryoka who invaded Soul Society and challenged the Gotei 13."

The meeting room explodes into wild chatter. The Espada start to mock the invaders with derogatory comments and ask more inane questions. You ignore most of their absurdity letting your thoughts wander to the Shinigami, until you hear an inquiry that instantly brings you back to awareness.

"We are missing the fourth. Who is it?"

"Inoue Orihime." You utter impulsively, finally breaking your silence.

They acknowledge you only for a moment before engaging in another argument. You ignore Grimmjow's inane blood thirst and the effortlessness with which Aizen restrains him. You don't hear the loud mouthed Nnoitra and the self-important Szayel. You are already thinking and planning to confront _him_. The other two are irrelevant. And soon the meeting is over and you are in the hallway making your way towards her room.

* * *

You are in Orihime's chamber, but you know there is no reason for you to be here. She is a prisoner, _your_ prisoner, and you have been acting on impulse a lot lately. But since you found out about Kurosaki Ichigo's invasion, you felt compelled to inform her of this development and establish her loyalty once and for all.

"I have news." You say holding her gaze, "You friends invaded Hueco Mundo."

Orihime gasps then looks away from you, staring at the floor. "Why?"

The hint of happiness in her voice annoys you. She still believes in them, still thinks there is a chance for her to get away from here, but you are resolved to put an end to that hope.

"To rescue you, of course." You return coming to stand behind her.

"To rescue me?" she repeats turning to you.

The attempt she puts into hiding her happiness does not go unnoticed.

"Yes. Why are you surprised?" you ask flatly.

"I just…I'm not…"

"Indeed. You shouldn't be. None of it should mean anything to you anymore." Your voice is firm with finality "You already know whom you belong to, do you not?"

"I…ah…"

But you are relentless. "Swear allegiance." You order her.

Silence.

"_Swear_ it." You grab her chin forcing her to look at you.

"Ulqui—"

"Do it."

"But I already did…" she whispers in confusion, staring at you. "To Aizen."

_No, you did not. _You want to tell her. _No, you did not._ She doesn't even realize that you are aware of her deceit.

"I can see right through you." You hiss, bringing your face close to hers. "Everything you said, everything you did, you still did it with the hope of being reunited with _them_, even after you swore your loyalty to us."

"I didn't…"

"Do not lie to me."

You don't understand yourself and this irrational anger. The hollow hole hurts and you feel yourself being consumed by an absurd desire to have her declare unconditional loyalty to Aizen and mean it…no, even if she was sincere from the start, it still wouldn't have been enough. You want more, the complete and unquestionable fealty to …..you….you…._you. _Now you know that you've changed.

It hurts.

You release her, astonished by this bizarre realization, and put your hands back into your pockets. You never wanted this; you never wanted to get attached. Any kind of connection is impossible for you. You cannot feel the same things that she does, and the hole in your chest, that has been burning since you saw the drawing of yourself, is proof of that. Oh, but you _can_ feel anger and jealousy. There is no reason to deny that fact. Since she told you about the heart, since she showed it to you, even as a picture, something stirred and twisted inside of you, the same thing that made you want to keep her away from Kurosaki Ichigo. Maybe it already started happening before that, maybe it was already there when she defied you for the very first time, but what's the point wondering about it now. It is too late to go back.

"Nobody can save you." _from me _you want to add but the words catch in your throat.

She turns away from you dejected. The sadness on her face is a warning to stop. If you press the subject further, the meeting will not end well and you know it, but the desire to crush her hopes is overwhelming.

"Even if those fools attempt to break into here in one piece, they will still be destroyed by us one by one."

"Stop it." She looks at you.

"You should've severed your connection with them long ago. I do not understand this stubbornness and instilled faith in the trash who came here to die."

"Stop it, please!" she begs you, "You don't know if…"

"I _do_ know." You carry on watching her bewilderment, "And if I were you, I would be infuriated by such a pathetic rescue attempt by a group of idiots who cannot understand the limits of their own power."

You see the shock on her face but it swiftly wears off as she takes a quick step forward and raises her hand. To your perceptive senses everything moves as it would in slow motion and you have plenty of time to stop her. There is a point to be proven and you will do so no matter how much you have to hurt her. The heart is useless, you tell yourself, there are only power and conquest, and the ultimate pay off. Nothing else.

You are used to domination. You are used to conquering the obstacles on your way. But there is one thing you are not used to – losing. Rejection is not acceptable.

You catch her elbow and yank her towards you. Orihime whimpers and stumbles forward as your eyes lock only for a moment until you see a flash of anger on her face and feel her other free hand suddenly connecting with your cheek.


End file.
